Stalemate. Who made the rules for your life?

No move? Change the rules..


We often get to a place of stasis or resignation in our lives.

Stalemate is the endgame in Chess where the King is safe, but is cornered and trapped by his opponent’s pieces. It’s his turn to move but he is not permitted to move into a place of danger. When neither player is in a position to win, the game moves backwards and forwards – endlessly repeating the same behaviour, but with neither side able to win. On the basis that there can be no winner, stalemate is called. The rules state that the game is a draw. The players can then start a new game.

Who made up the rules that you live by?

If you are in a position of stalemate, are the rules governing the game useful or helpful to you? Is it time to play the game by a new set of rules? Especially if we cannot choose between two equally powerful options. Is it time for a new game? If the old rules are not doing their job, maybe it’s time for some new ones?

MPs are being asked to vote on a new set of rules on electing MPs with  greater emphasis on Proportional Representation (AV). However, the MPs will vote in favour only if they think that they are personally safe under the new rules. Turkeys voting for Christmas? Of course not. Stalemate. Unless, of course, there is a revolution in thinking, or practice. A new set of rules.

SHAPE. After Stalemate, comes Honesty – hiding the truth may be less painful, but ultimately if we do then nothing changes. If we could be honest without hurting, what would happen?  Would anyone suffer and if we told people what was really going on would they think any the less of us for it?

After honesty, Allies – who or what internally and externally can we enlist to help? If our friends are real they will support us through the trauma, through the honest admissions and replace the false reflections in our mirror with their honesty – and love.

Then Progress and Peace – finding both in places where happiness has been experienced. We can take a phial of it from the past and apply it to the present. After  all, it happened then, it can happen now. Remember the conditions necessary to get Peace. Recreate them. Who were you with? Where did you go? What was your higher purpose back then. Is it time for a comeback?

Finally,  Ending Well – take yourself to the end of your life and look back at the decisions made today – and their outcomes. It’s a matter of degree. There is a difference between excitement and enjoyment – one short term and the other long term. It is good to see projects through with integrity rather than continually starting and stopping things. That diet, that addiction, that New Year resolution. That marriage. Those children.

Ultimately, we have a Moment of Truth – a point at which we say ‘from now on I want to live a life that I’m proud to own’. New rules. Your rules. New life. Your life.

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